Saturday, July 21, 2012

Now begins the Ramazan Show!

In Pakistan’s news media, anchors are analogous to entertainers, but now their entertainment has become very predictable. Their monotonous attitude has made the infotainment discourse extremely boring. Moreover, the public narrative that the news media tries to create is mostly conservative having an explicit penchant towards fundamentalism. 

It is very unfortunate that the media chatter house has become the defining source of public discourse in Pakistan. People consider these private TV channels as a party working for people rights. They think these private capitalistic firms are speaking on their behalf.

Quite opposite, this is never the case. Private capitalistic media only speaks for products through which they can make money. The fundamental goal of any business is to maximise profit. They give a hoot to any issue that might reduce their annual profits. 

In the coming month, these media capitalist tycoons are going to exploit spirituality to maximise net incomes. Ramazan is a jackpot for all media tycoon in Pakistan. It will give a profit boost just at the start of the second half of FY2012. All media channels – either news or entertainment or infotainment – are going to extract the last drop of 'financial juice' from this God gifted month. News anchors, fashion designers, and self-tagged entertainers-cum-Islamic scholars will help the poor nation in understanding Islam. The poorest of the poor will be paying only Rs. 14.07 (+ tax) per minute, if they want to hang on with their religion.

Some of the media tycoons have also released their Ramazan promos (similar to Hollywood film trailers).

The entertainer for Geo Television network will be Dr. (false PhD) Amir Liaquat. With his expensive designer suits, his Oscar winning sobbing, his impromptu speech, and his dexterous use of hands will magnate hundreds of people to switch on their television screen at day break and sunset. This entertainer will laugh, cry, joke, intellecutalize, cook, and blabber all the month long. Two years ago, Amir Liaquat instigated people in killing Ahmadis. His program was a nightmare for the Ahmadi community which brought human loss to them. Let's see what this fundamentalist do in the oncoming month!

Dr. Amir Liaquat anchoring his Islamic Show

Next comes Dr. (I guess either in quackery or homeopathy) Shahid Masood. He'll be hosting the Ramazan transmission for ARY group. A fundamentalist by soul, he'll now be educating the masses to fear the Lord. For the last decade, this man has tried to portray the rightist school of thought as the only saviour of Pakistan. People like Hameed Gul the Red General, Zaid Hamid the Conspirator, Orya Maqbool Jan the chauvinist scholar, Imran Khan the Tsunami man, Ansaar Abbasi the crying patriot, and Dr. Israr Ahmed got the maximum TV talk time on his program. He affronts liberal and intellectual dissents and allows his guests to caricature people like Dr. Pervez Hoodbhoy and Asma Jahangir on live television.
Shahid Masood will be hosting a
Ramazan Show with Maya Khan for the ARY Group
Next month, this fundamentalist doctor is going to do a Ramazan show with the Mrs. Maya Khan. She recently violated the private sphere of two Pakistani teenagers who were relaxing in a park when Spectre Maya came out of nowhere to teach them Islamic morality. These two entertainers will be the here bringers of non-Hijabi fundamentalism!

For the Express Television Network, Shahid Afridi — a famous Pakistani cricketer — is going to educate the masses about gaining spirituality in Ramazan! As the cricketer will be fasting in this holy month, he won't be able to play cricket; to fill the monetary loss for missing his cricket series, he has signed a Ramazan deal with a media tycoon. An unmatched example of spirituality being supplanted by capitalism! As the demand for 'spirituality' raises, thus the viewer ship for cricket decreases; hence, capital underscores religion for profit maximization.

Shahid Afridi working on Express News payroll.
It can't be commented what will be the output of this transmission. I guess it is the first program where a working cricketer will also be a television evangelist. The influence of religion in the Pakistani cricket team couldn't help them in winning a series against Sri Lanka, but did help Shahid Afridi in becoming a religious entertainer. 

I think it was in this perspective Marx said religion to be the opium of the masses. These capitalist enterprises are going to make millions of rupees out of spiritualism. They are going to boost consumerism by publicising branded cloths. They will cook delicious food tempting others to do the same. On the other hand, a father of six living somewhere in Layari (a poor locality in Karachi), will try to condole his small children when they ask their mother to cook the same food Uncle Liaquat, Uncle Afridi and Aunty Maya cooked on the previous fast.

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